OK, it’s one of those dark nights…

An outside persona

To uphold control

An inside of darkness

To suppress visibleness

A  questioning

On the mask of life

The greyness between right and wrong

A need for the stillness of the heart

An unfeeling heart

A non heart

A no heart

A non

Anon, anon, anonymous in person

Anonymous in soul

For there is non

To uphold

A cycle of 6 years

A cycle of 5

A cycle of 4

A cycle of 19 years

A cycle.. continous circle

Of keeping things at bay

Distractions

Concentrations

Life is how best to distract oneself

To search, to question, to fury, to impassion oneself

All distractions

To disappear

Away away anon anon

Away anon

No connections

Just observations

Just observing

Between me and god

Or is god an excuse to not feel alone

No black hole

No intensity

Or risk the intensity

Forget the desires

Just live crazily

No commitments

No expectations

A fool of oneself

As human nature doesn’t allow a solitary life

It’s not in its very existence

Best then to de-alive

De-living

Self Answers

 

It feels timely, its time

When the signs keep on coming

Permanence to impermanence

Transition to action

When the gap widens

When the heart tightens

When it’s tomorrow to happen

If not then, the next day beckons

Same fate just beholden

But happen, will happen

Shall i test it, to prevent it

From taking too long, just tempt it

Whether rightly or wrongly

It matters not, just justly

Whatever that is meant to be

Will be, but better steel me

To coldness, to bitterness

I do not want

So shall i hunt away

To another land

Where senses are muted

Know Thyself

pix by permission from veer.com new cool images - very nice stuff

I paid AUD400 eight years ago in Melbourne in a Melbourne Career Counselling session to figure out what i wanted to do.Thanks to the techonology today, instead of paying the dough and spending a nerve wrecking time in a counselor’s office, i’ve gone through all of them, and here are 2 sites you can go into and get a pretty good analysis of yourself and what your strengths or weakness are.

THE TEST

First, go to site below - it’s a  jung personality test ( FREE ).  Note down the final results, especially the percentages difference. This tells you an overall 4 characters of what your essense is.

http://similarminds.com/jung.html

BEST PLACE TO READ TYPE

Then head on to http://www.personalitypage.com/high-level.html

Look for your 4 characters – and click onto details. A whole world awaits you.

Have a great enlightening moment.

SOUL FOOD #1 Wise saying from Hugh McLeod

Wise saying of the week:

Rephrased from a real down to earth wise-guy:

The day a dream stops being just a dream is the day you start doing something about it

WHEN THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU DRAW THE LINE?

When do you draw the line?

When is enough, enough?

When do you stop taking it in, and putting effort in to justify?

When do stop starting the zombie compromising state of making things work like clockwork? Or worse still, when do you stop the continuation of this zombie like compromising waking action each day?

When do you stop de-living?

When do you stop the extra effort that you’re so used to, where your instinct and principles say this is not how it is meant to be?

When the gut says so? When the anger in your blood says so?

When it’s not about typo errors but about the big idea? ( guffaw..>)

When it’s not the way it is said but what is said?

When honesty and integrity are out the door? (now i sound like Mr. Leo Burnett, but what he said was true) When it stops being about the work, the idea, what you believe is right?

When you realise that things will not change so long as you are there?

When you realise that whatever that changes, is not according to the progression you have in your mind?

You draw the line when you stop believing.

You draw the line when the conviction of what you stand for is feels full and true.

You draw the line when you don’t give a damn about the future of ‘consequences’ about drawing the line, because you know that that the blind, muted way of life is not the life you want to live. Because you’re not interested in an easy life, but a life of fullness. The type of fullness you want. It can be a fullness of even harder work, or even harder struggle. But so long it is the type of life that you want.

Decide on the type of fullness you want. Decide on the quality of life you want. Decide on what is important to you in life. And then that’s the time. I’m throwing in my white thin towel for a fresh, multi-colored one.

The Curse of Seeing Too Much

( rantings from a very angry person.. or it’s the Boho talking the Buddha out)

The curse is, really when you see things others don’t see… or where others haven’t seen yet, or won’t even see even if it hits them on the face…….. and you are helpless to do anything about it. Because you’re told (albeit from a wiser Buddha)  to wait it through, to let others learn their lesson, to let things take its course.

Makes you wonder, if things were to be let to take it’s course, why does one have the ability to see the consequences in the first place?

The curse is frustrating. Debilitating. Because you see the natural reaction of a cause, you see the effect of the cause ripple across the pond… down to the last half ripple before the pebble sinks in. Instinctually – your goddamn instincts are too true. They don’t just tend to happen. The final result is always a very real and true effect that affects other people around you.

But the most irking part is the frustration of seeing the first pebble, the first action, and knowing what and how it’s going to effect later, down to it’s actual degree of problems, and true and behold it does.. and even if you voice it, or try to change things, it is never enough, because you were not the one that threw the pebble.

The second most irking part, were I older, with a lower voice and whiter hair, with more achievements behind me ( or a PHD in psychology) … this curse of seeing consequences would be labelled.. ‘visionary’ the one who knows what will happen… or the one who is a specialist of human behaviour .. or the leader with foresight… or the soothsayer whose opinions are taken as sacred…

The third most irking part, is to actually be affected by the final consequence’s effects on other people. To be affected is the thing that makes it hard to not care, not bother and impossible to ignore.

So this heavy curse that weighs me down needs to transform into something else pretty soon. Or it shall wear me down.

Either that or I need to join the X-men or the Fantastic Four and make it the Ferocious Five. So then I get to use this in some way that saves the world towards the last half hour of the show. At least that’s a conclusion and someone listens.

Your Buddha and your Boho

Juliette Greco, french singer - synonymous with the first few who broke away from conventionalism and lived her boho out.

The thing is, whe you give something a name.. you know where to compartmentalize it in your mind. And then know how to use it. So here’s to naming 2 things that need to be known – our Buddha & your Boho.

Your Buddha is the thing that collects what you’ve learnt,  experiences past and present; and forms that wisdom within you.

Whatever your conclusion is of life, how to live life, what next in life, what should be the way of how you want to live your life. Whether it is how you react to others, how to move to new lands, new experiences, new challenges, new jobs, new friends, your Buddha helps you shed light, give meaning to what and who you are.

 

But you have a Boho too.

The bohemian in you, that exits not from your mind, your past but it’s that funny strange irritating thing from your heart that you cannot describe. It comes and washes away rationality and logic in moments. And you struggle on your feet to keep it at bay. Go through a day and night of contradictions, till you speak to a friend that brings back common-sense, and helps keep your boho away.

The Boho is what it is. Unfathomable. There’s a part of it in each and everyone of us, that consciously or mostly unconsciously, breaks away from conventionality in life and art. ( Btw – everything in life is art) Your Boho is anything and everything that makes you wish you could dress differently today, reply in a non expected way, behave not according to people’s expectations.. but remaining true to yourself inside.

 

So while your Buddha tells you who you are. Your Boho makes you live the person you are. Trust it. Look for it. It cannot be told what to expect or follow. That’s the best part about it.